Startup diary: Defining my "Why"
Episode 1: A CBD coaching client reminds me why I'm called to help
In this new Startup Diary series, I’m sharing notes from the trenches of building a startup as an autistic adult. Today I want to start by talking about my “why”.
I met with a CBD coaching client this morning to help her with her PDA son’s CBD protocol. We’ve spent several weeks getting them set up with access to CBD in their state, recommending a starting dose, tracking the doses, and generally getting into a rhythm with the medicine.
And today she said her son is starting to express more about how he’s feeling in his body. He recently told her he noticed he was feeling more calm. It was notable for her that her son was even articulating how he was feeling. And it was of course great to hear that he was feeling more calm!
I’ve started to offer CBD coaching because of what a difference CBD has made for me, and many other autistic folks in recent clinical trials. And when I heard this client say they’re starting to get some relief, it reminded me what a powerful impact this medicine can make.
In a way, I feel called by the plant spirit itself to embody the healing I’ve found with cannabis. I owe her the recognition and acknowledgement. I wouldn’t be total with anyone if I were to omit the cannabis part of my story. Cannabis has been an ally for me in reconnecting with my body, my emotions, and my creative nature.
And to be completely honest, it’s scary for me to be open about using cannabis as a medicine. Because I myself have so much baggage from family members telling me it would harm me. And I watched my dad use cannabis and thought he was hurting himself (he was mostly hurting himself with alcohol). I still have moments where I doubt myself, wondering if I’m just making up reasons to “do drugs” and dissociate from my feelings.
And yet cannabis has been my tool for getting more in touch with my emotions. And I now understand that cannabis is supplementing my endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is the master regulator in my body. And that being more regulated has allowed me to get curious about the sensations in my body, and the emotions they’re associated with.
Which is why cannabis is different from other medicines. It takes time to re-establish a connection with the body without being overwhelmed. It’s a relationship that needs care and attention. It helps a lot to have guidance from someone who’s been through it. Someone to help navigate that healing process.
When my client said her son was starting to articulate the sensations in his body, I felt like we were on the right track. Just the ability to notice the sensations, and name them, is huge for someone who’s body is constantly dysregulated. And it’s the first step in being able to transform the sensations into more positive ones. To start feeling intentionally, rather than always feeling in reaction to the world.
And this is why I’m called to do this work. Because I can very specifically relate to the process of coming back into connection with a severely dysregulated body. To slowly integrate the many past traumas that are in my body, with the support provided by the medicine, and the supportive humans in my community.
I’ve realized that I can help create that supportive community for more people. I want to provide them with the kind of support that has been so game-changing for me.
To start feeling intentionally, rather than always feeling in reaction to the world.
If you’re interested in joining my CBD coaching group, you can reply to directly to me by responding to this email, or you can book here: