PDA adulting: my first work experiences

Episode 5: Corporate hierarchy, scrutiny, and threat

I’ve worked in companies for 20+ years as a software developer, and I’ve never felt comfortable in them. It always ends the same way: I feel threatened by being scrutinized, and slowly burn out. It takes about a year for the initial excitement of the role to wear off, gradually being replaced by the stress of being observed, my actions subtly controlled by fear of consequence.

Getting a new job has a sense of hope and novelty. Keeping a job has a sense of foreboding, ominous threat, and drudgery.

In this post I’m going to zoom in on my initial work experiences, and how not understanding my PDA created a lot of challenges for me.