Next week I’ll be in Chicago speaking at the PDA North America annual conference. Myself and Brook from No Pressure PDA will be running breakout groups on “Adulting with PDA”.
What does adulting entail? I’m thinking about three categories: school, work, and relationships. Each of these areas has specific types of demands that I’ve found can be a lot to deal with.
School
School was always a very mixed bag for me. I always enjoyed learning, but the structure of the school system itself has always made me feel unsafe. School is framed as a requirement, and it was definitely required of me by my family and community. I had some really hard experiences at school, many of which I’m only now recognizing were extremely stressful for me.
But school is how we’re prepared for adult life, right? We’re required by law to attend school for our entire young life until we’re 18 years old. I was completely consumed by performing well at school for my entire young life, as a result.
I learned to mask at school. Mask my anxiety, my hurt, my emotional dysregulation. I learned that I needed to be able to do everything really well. Every subject was important. A low grade in one subject could make you fail a grade, or disqualify you from university entrance. I knew a kid who was a physics genius who they held back from university for his English grades, for example. I knew another kid who was a super talented artist, writer, and athlete, who they held back a grade because he failed math. Being held back disconnected him from his friend group, and created huge problems for him socially.
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